Warranties and Guarantees

In many industries, there are warranties and guarantees that go along with a product and service. These guarantees are only as good as the company servicing them, as well as the stipulations that cover them. The key here is, there is no such thing as a free lunch. Wheter it's energy savings or home retrofits - you typically get what you pay for...

When talking to a customer about a warranty or guarantee, HZG is explicit in the details as to how the warranty functions. It is important to know that two parties are involved and have responsibilities for a warranty - the holder and the servicer. There are many asterisks involved and it is imperative that you know what they are - such as if it is a waterproofing warranty, plants, sidewalks, driveways, etc. are not covered. If the issue below ground is something else not covered by the warranty, the client would pay. If a crack is greater than 1/16", the warranty is not covered due to coverage...you get the idea.

The following is a banter from the movie Tommy Boy that best reflects warranties in our industry...

Tommy: Let's think about this for a sec, Ted, why would somebody put a guarantee on a box? Hmmm, very interesting.

Ted Nelson, Customer: Go on, I'm listening.

Tommy: Here's the way I see it, Ted. A guy puts a fancy guarantee on a box 'cause he wants you to feel all warm and toasty inside.

Ted Nelson, Customer: Yeah, makes a man feel good.

Tommy: 'Course it does. Why shouldn't it? Ya figure you put that little box under your pillow at night, the Guarantee Fairy might come by and leave a quarter, am I right, Ted?

Ted Nelson, Customer: What's your point?

Tommy: The point is, how do you know the fairy isn't a crazy glue sniffer? "Building model airplanes" says the little fairy, well, we're not buying it. He sneaks into your house once, that's all it takes. The next thing you know, there's money missing off the dresser and your daughter's knocked up, I've seen it a hundred times.

Ted Nelson, Customer: But why do they put a guarantee on the box?

Tommy: Because they know all they sold ya was a guaranteed piece of shit. That's all it is, isn't it? Hey, if you want me to take a dump in a box and mark it guaranteed, I will. I got spare time. But for now, for your customer's sake, for your daughter's sake, ya might wanna think about buying a quality product from me.

Ted Nelson, Customer: [pause] Okay, I'll buy from you.